Wednesday, December 15, 2010
This is(not) fun
I'm sending this from my fucking phone because my Internet is down. I just realized my spell check doesn't work. Well maybe predictive text will get me through. Why do I do this to myself? I always wait till the last minute to do school. I'm a single mother. I'm a full time student. I'm the manager of a restaurant in north richland hills. Oh and did I mention I'm also trying to keep it together sober for the first time. I'm also a recovering alcoholic. Plus my son is learning disabled and was failing life in Dallas so I packed up my family and moved to Euless at the begining of this semester. I started a new career in a new city with a new girlfriend one month before I started my son in a new school district. Needless to say it's been hectic. I had a mental break down around midterms and walked out of one test crying from overwhelming test anxiety. I had to be placed on antidepressants and drop one class. Oh and I just found out I didn't drop the class because the retard in the bursar office didn't send the info in. Now I'm sending this while my girlfriend is one the phone with att trying to get our Internet on before the twelve o'clock deadline for the final in this class. Which by the way I'm not even sure I've completed properly. Fuck my fucking life. I'm not an a student but I'm not a failure either. I am a solid c student and if given enough time I can usually squeeze out a b. But this semester I suck all around. I have had to fire three ppl in three weeks. Just before Christmas. And I've got 9 other ppl quitting because it's a new restaurant and they aren't making enough. I'm in the weeds of life. What's a girl to do. 4 min left before deadline. Looks like I'm sending the teach my rough draft I have saved in my email. Another class bites the dust. Dammit. Well now that I've thrown my tempertantrum I'm glad know one reads this ;-)
Tuesday, December 14, 2010
Thank You "Fuck My Life"
In the end, in those last moments of some peoples day they read.
Some people read bed time stories.
Some people read murder mysteries.
There are those that are searching for that last bit of peace before ending their day.
Those people read bibles.
Those people read self-help books
There are some who look for another life more breath-taking than theirs.
These people read love stories.
These people read romance novels.
At end of my day, at that moment I'm looking for a calming effect, in that space where I'm trying to wash off the stress of life...
I read the web-site Fuck My life.
I read to feel better about my life.
I read to distract me from my own shit.
I fall asleep to other peoples worst days because it makes my day seem better.
Fml
Some people read bed time stories.
Some people read murder mysteries.
There are those that are searching for that last bit of peace before ending their day.
Those people read bibles.
Those people read self-help books
There are some who look for another life more breath-taking than theirs.
These people read love stories.
These people read romance novels.
At end of my day, at that moment I'm looking for a calming effect, in that space where I'm trying to wash off the stress of life...
I read the web-site Fuck My life.
I read to feel better about my life.
I read to distract me from my own shit.
I fall asleep to other peoples worst days because it makes my day seem better.
Fml
Who knew I would like this?!
Well, I'm only doing this blog for a class I'm taking at UTD, but I kind of like it. I have never understood computer ppl. You know what I'm talking about... Those ppl who eat, breath and live online. It is possible to meet some one, have a relationship, fall in love, and get married online. Hell let's cyber screw a couple times. Oh, I really love you let's have a baby. Ship me your sperm. I'll inject it while I type "making love" to you. Oh, I'm going into labor I'll get my webcam. OMG!!!!!!
Ok, so bit of a tangent there, but I bet this shit happens all the time. I barely facebook. I don't even remember my password to it. I have an iPhone, but don't know how to use it to it's full capabilities. UMMMMM... where was I going?
Oh Ya. I hate to admit it, but I'm enjoying this. I've got some Pandora radio mixing my favorite stations in the background. One kid's in school and ones asleep. My beautiful girlfriend is still warm under the covers and I'm rambling on the freaking Internet. Who knew?
Well, FML soon as I typed about my daughter sleeping she stumbles in. What a sweet sleepy face......
Ok, so bit of a tangent there, but I bet this shit happens all the time. I barely facebook. I don't even remember my password to it. I have an iPhone, but don't know how to use it to it's full capabilities. UMMMMM... where was I going?
Oh Ya. I hate to admit it, but I'm enjoying this. I've got some Pandora radio mixing my favorite stations in the background. One kid's in school and ones asleep. My beautiful girlfriend is still warm under the covers and I'm rambling on the freaking Internet. Who knew?
Well, FML soon as I typed about my daughter sleeping she stumbles in. What a sweet sleepy face......
Mass e-mail
Oh what bitches... bet you thought this would be a commentary on mass e-mails, but NO I just copy and pasted one.... AHHH haaaaa haaa!!!
Truths For Mature Adults
1. I think part of a best friend’s job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.
2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you’re wrong.
3. I totally take back all those times I didn’t want to nap when I was younger.
4. There is great need for a sarcasm font.
5. How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?
6. Was learning cursive really necessary?
7. Map Quest really needs to start their directions on # 5. I’m pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.
8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.
9. I can’t remember the last time I wasn’t at least kind of tired.
10. Bad decisions make good stories.
11. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren’t going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.
12. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blu-Ray? I don’t want to have to restart my collection . . . again.
13. I’m always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page technical report that I swear I did not make any changes to.
14. I keep some people’s phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.
15. I think the freezer deserves a light as well.
16. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lite than Kay.
17. I wish Google Maps had an “Avoid Ghetto” routing option.
18. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.
19. How many times is it appropriate to say “What?” before you just nod and smile because you still didn’t hear or understand a word they said?
20. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers and sisters!
21. Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.
22. Sometimes I’ll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.
23. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey - but I’d bet everyone can find and push the snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time!
24. The first testicular guard, the “Cup,” was used in Hockey in 1874 and the first helmet was used in 1974. That means it only took 100 years for men to realize that their brain is also important.Ladies . . . Quit Laughing
Alright, mass e-mails are annoying, but you have to admit this is a funny one. What I would love to happen is ppl that are reading this to comment new Truths for Adults. This should get interesting!!
Oh wait no one reads this Damn. My plan is ruined.
Truths For Mature Adults
1. I think part of a best friend’s job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.
2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you’re wrong.
3. I totally take back all those times I didn’t want to nap when I was younger.
4. There is great need for a sarcasm font.
5. How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?
6. Was learning cursive really necessary?
7. Map Quest really needs to start their directions on # 5. I’m pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.
8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.
9. I can’t remember the last time I wasn’t at least kind of tired.
10. Bad decisions make good stories.
11. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren’t going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.
12. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blu-Ray? I don’t want to have to restart my collection . . . again.
13. I’m always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page technical report that I swear I did not make any changes to.
14. I keep some people’s phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.
15. I think the freezer deserves a light as well.
16. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lite than Kay.
17. I wish Google Maps had an “Avoid Ghetto” routing option.
18. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.
19. How many times is it appropriate to say “What?” before you just nod and smile because you still didn’t hear or understand a word they said?
20. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers and sisters!
21. Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.
22. Sometimes I’ll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.
23. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey - but I’d bet everyone can find and push the snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time!
24. The first testicular guard, the “Cup,” was used in Hockey in 1874 and the first helmet was used in 1974. That means it only took 100 years for men to realize that their brain is also important.Ladies . . . Quit Laughing
Alright, mass e-mails are annoying, but you have to admit this is a funny one. What I would love to happen is ppl that are reading this to comment new Truths for Adults. This should get interesting!!
Oh wait no one reads this Damn. My plan is ruined.
Beer, Booze, and Boobs Cont...
Ok. Sorry ppl.
Where was I? Oh Ya... Bishop Arts.
So, at the time I had never been through Oak Cliff. I was following the directions on my phone. This, mind you, wasn't always the most accurate. I started to think I wasn't in Kansas anymore after I passed the 4th chop-shop. I made my last turn before I was supposed to be "at my destination" and WHAMMM I was in Oz.
Have you ever been down there? It's a completely different world from literally across the street. There are quaint little shops with over price napkins and home decor. There are these funky clothing stores with brands you have never heard of, but prices you could never pay. There are 5 star restaurants with world renowned chefs. Book stores with the kind of books that would be classics in anyone's home. And yet Oak Cliff is one of the most dangerous places in Dallas.
How can we keep down areas like Fair Park with all the degrading and detrimental billboards? And yet we build and spend God knows what in renovations in other areas?
That's all.
Where was I? Oh Ya... Bishop Arts.
So, at the time I had never been through Oak Cliff. I was following the directions on my phone. This, mind you, wasn't always the most accurate. I started to think I wasn't in Kansas anymore after I passed the 4th chop-shop. I made my last turn before I was supposed to be "at my destination" and WHAMMM I was in Oz.
Have you ever been down there? It's a completely different world from literally across the street. There are quaint little shops with over price napkins and home decor. There are these funky clothing stores with brands you have never heard of, but prices you could never pay. There are 5 star restaurants with world renowned chefs. Book stores with the kind of books that would be classics in anyone's home. And yet Oak Cliff is one of the most dangerous places in Dallas.
How can we keep down areas like Fair Park with all the degrading and detrimental billboards? And yet we build and spend God knows what in renovations in other areas?
That's all.
Sunday, December 12, 2010
Beer, Booze, and Boobs
Has anyone noticed when your driving down the highway and you begin to cross over into a low income part of town what's on the billboards? I was driving down hwy 30 over by fair park and East Grand area. I noticed an interesting change in the billboards. I was coming from hwy 75 with Burberry and Neiman Marcus ads. Once you make that turn to 30 it switches to sketchy strip clubs and beer ads. There were five in a row dedicated to 40's and malt liquor. I'm a fan a strip clubs as much as the next guy (or girl) but I wouldn't make it out of some of these places alive.
I just can't seem to wrap my head around the fact that we as an economy as a whole are allowing this to happen. Why are some areas allowed to turn into slums? Why are we letting the proverbial wrong side of the tracks take over? Look at Oak Cliff...
This was a few years back and I was meeting some friends at a restaurant in Bishop Arts District...........
hold please have to run an errand....... will continue this in a bit. I'm not on my computer so I have to submit this or lose it.... Dammit I just realized I spelled lose wrong in my last post...Nevermind I fixed it :)
I just can't seem to wrap my head around the fact that we as an economy as a whole are allowing this to happen. Why are some areas allowed to turn into slums? Why are we letting the proverbial wrong side of the tracks take over? Look at Oak Cliff...
This was a few years back and I was meeting some friends at a restaurant in Bishop Arts District...........
hold please have to run an errand....... will continue this in a bit. I'm not on my computer so I have to submit this or lose it.... Dammit I just realized I spelled lose wrong in my last post...Nevermind I fixed it :)
I hate you iCarly.
Dear iCarly,
I hate you. You drive me crazy with your zany antics. My son asked me to record you on our DVR and now there are so many of you that my shows are no longer recording. There are 54 of your Dumb Ass shows overtaking my TV. Why? Tell me why you are on TV 6 times a day?
And on another note WHERE ARE YOUR PARENTS? I understand there are latch key kids out there but seriously WTF? I had to be on my own for a while after school, but give me a break- You are raising yourself!! Oh, and whats with your brother? Is he right? Like in the head-right? Your brother beats me down mentally.
But my son loves you. I hear the kids talking about you and see the girls wearing your (overly priced) merchandise. I'm sorry to do this to you but I've changed your settings to only allow one recording per day. I hope you don't lose profits or anything stupid like that. I just can't risk missing any of my shows sorry. I am the one who's paying for the cable. Well, I just thought you should know.
A Disgruntled Forced Watcher,
Blaine's Mom
I hate you. You drive me crazy with your zany antics. My son asked me to record you on our DVR and now there are so many of you that my shows are no longer recording. There are 54 of your Dumb Ass shows overtaking my TV. Why? Tell me why you are on TV 6 times a day?
And on another note WHERE ARE YOUR PARENTS? I understand there are latch key kids out there but seriously WTF? I had to be on my own for a while after school, but give me a break- You are raising yourself!! Oh, and whats with your brother? Is he right? Like in the head-right? Your brother beats me down mentally.
But my son loves you. I hear the kids talking about you and see the girls wearing your (overly priced) merchandise. I'm sorry to do this to you but I've changed your settings to only allow one recording per day. I hope you don't lose profits or anything stupid like that. I just can't risk missing any of my shows sorry. I am the one who's paying for the cable. Well, I just thought you should know.
A Disgruntled Forced Watcher,
Blaine's Mom
Thursday, September 9, 2010
Artifact Selection
In January of 2009 I went out with some friends to a gay bar that a lesbian friend of mine worked at and as per usual give me a little booze and put me around cute lesbians and I turn into spaghetti. Spaghetti is a term that means straight until wet. I met this girl that was the hottest thing in the room and she knew it. She had great style and an attitude that lured in everything around her. I was interested and intimidated, but managed to get the courage to hit on her. I had the tendency to hit on my lesbian friends friends every time I was drinking. The next day I sent her a text apologizing for possibly making an ass out of myself. She said something along the lines of no worries. I decided that I needed to explore a part of me that I had ignored my whole life.
“Some of us are going over to Cheri’s for late night drinks. You should come.”
“Ha, darling you won’t even remember this in the morning.”
“I will. You should give me your number so I can call you to let you know how much I remember.”
I was from small Texas town that was very conservative. I knew one gay man in the community that was friends with my stepmother. I didn’t even know what that entailed really. I just knew it was weird when I woke up from sex dreams with me and another woman. I grew up in a church that told me I was going to hell if I wasn’t the model cheerleading A-student perfect Christian girl. I was supposed to graduate high school, go to college, meet a boy, and have four kids…three boys and a baby girl. I was going to be a teacher and have my house in the country with my normal perfect family. However, I became a drop out, drug addict, bartender, who would get drunk and hit on girls.
“Hey cutie, sorry about last night!”
“No worries lady.”
“Oh, I’m not sorry for hitting on you… I’m sorry I did it so
poorly ;-)”
Almost ten years after I moved away from that small town, several drugs, and a child I decided that this “thing” wasn’t going away and I needed to address it. I realized that I needed to be sober around this chick and see if I felt the same way. Well, I did. We went home together and began to fool around and I knew that this is where I needed to be. I was scared. I felt alone. I had a few friends that were gay, but still had NO idea what was in store for me. I found The L Word shortly before all this. It was dramatic. It was sexy and taboo. I had never seen anything like it. Early January I rented every season there was a blockbuster. The show had just begun airing the last season. It was ridiculous really how I had sequestered myself in my apartment. For weeks I just sat on the couch and watched this show. It literally changed my life. That’s why I am picking it as my artifact.
“Some of us are going over to Cheri’s for late night drinks. You should come.”
“Ha, darling you won’t even remember this in the morning.”
“I will. You should give me your number so I can call you to let you know how much I remember.”
I was from small Texas town that was very conservative. I knew one gay man in the community that was friends with my stepmother. I didn’t even know what that entailed really. I just knew it was weird when I woke up from sex dreams with me and another woman. I grew up in a church that told me I was going to hell if I wasn’t the model cheerleading A-student perfect Christian girl. I was supposed to graduate high school, go to college, meet a boy, and have four kids…three boys and a baby girl. I was going to be a teacher and have my house in the country with my normal perfect family. However, I became a drop out, drug addict, bartender, who would get drunk and hit on girls.
“Hey cutie, sorry about last night!”
“No worries lady.”
“Oh, I’m not sorry for hitting on you… I’m sorry I did it so
poorly ;-)”
Almost ten years after I moved away from that small town, several drugs, and a child I decided that this “thing” wasn’t going away and I needed to address it. I realized that I needed to be sober around this chick and see if I felt the same way. Well, I did. We went home together and began to fool around and I knew that this is where I needed to be. I was scared. I felt alone. I had a few friends that were gay, but still had NO idea what was in store for me. I found The L Word shortly before all this. It was dramatic. It was sexy and taboo. I had never seen anything like it. Early January I rented every season there was a blockbuster. The show had just begun airing the last season. It was ridiculous really how I had sequestered myself in my apartment. For weeks I just sat on the couch and watched this show. It literally changed my life. That’s why I am picking it as my artifact.
Tuesday, August 31, 2010
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