Artifact Selection

In January of 2009 I went out with some friends to a gay bar that a lesbian friend of mine worked at and as per usual give me a little booze and put me around cute lesbians and I turn into spaghetti. Spaghetti is a term that means straight until wet. I met this girl that was the hottest thing in the room and she knew it. She had great style and an attitude that lured in everything around her. I was interested and intimidated, but managed to get the courage to hit on her. I had the tendency to hit on my lesbian friends friends every time I was drinking. The next day I sent her a text apologizing for possibly making an ass out of myself. She said something along the lines of no worries. I decided that I needed to explore a part of me that I had ignored my whole life.

“Some of us are going over to Cheri’s for late night drinks. You should come.”
“Ha, darling you won’t even remember this in the morning.”
“I will. You should give me your number so I can call you to let you know how much I remember.”

I was from small Texas town that was very conservative. I knew one gay man in the community that was friends with my stepmother. I didn’t even know what that entailed really. I just knew it was weird when I woke up from sex dreams with me and another woman. I grew up in a church that told me I was going to hell if I wasn’t the model cheerleading A-student perfect Christian girl. I was supposed to graduate high school, go to college, meet a boy, and have four kids…three boys and a baby girl. I was going to be a teacher and have my house in the country with my normal perfect family. However, I became a drop out, drug addict, bartender, who would get drunk and hit on girls.

“Hey cutie, sorry about last night!”
“No worries lady.”
“Oh, I’m not sorry for hitting on you… I’m sorry I did it so
poorly ;-)”

Almost ten years after I moved away from that small town, several drugs, and a child I decided that this “thing” wasn’t going away and I needed to address it. I realized that I needed to be sober around this chick and see if I felt the same way. Well, I did. We went home together and began to fool around and I knew that this is where I needed to be. I was scared. I felt alone. I had a few friends that were gay, but still had NO idea what was in store for me. I found The L Word shortly before all this. It was dramatic. It was sexy and taboo. I had never seen anything like it. Early January I rented every season there was a blockbuster. The show had just begun airing the last season. It was ridiculous really how I had sequestered myself in my apartment. For weeks I just sat on the couch and watched this show. It literally changed my life. That’s why I am picking it as my artifact.